I want to take a few moments to apologize for, and perhaps explain (a little) my absence lately.
While it is true that I still haven't found work (not for lack of trying, I assure you), and thus have plenty of time on my hands, I haven't managed a post in a long while. Perhaps it's because nothing really has occurred over the past few months... well, not much, anyways.
     For those of you who haven't heard, which is most of you (since I really haven't really talked about it), my grandfather passed away two weeks ago. To say that I was not expecting it would be an understatement. I was completely devastated. After all, it was only a week before that I found out he was sick with pneumonia. My parents promised to keep me in the loop, and I guess I just assumed that no news was good news.. and I suppose things were okay for a day or two. Saturday morning, I got a call from my mom saying that Grandpa was in the hospital and they were on their way to see him. At the time, I was in the car on the way to see Book of Mormon with friends, an event planned almost a whole year in advance, and one that we had been excitedly awaiting for a long time. I felt so conflicted... here I was on my way to have fun, and the rest of my family rushing to my grandpa's side. I really felt like I should be there.. but my mom encouraged me to just have fun and that she would call later. I tried to enjoy the evening as best I could... and even got a bit too drunk (long island's are deadly!).
     The next days seem rather fuzzy in memory.. Sunday, I took Jeff to pick up his Christmas present (I had given him a gift certificate for this awesome game store in Pasadena "Game Empire"). He had just chosen his game when I got a call from my mom Grandpa wasn't getting any better and they were doing everything they could and we would know by the morning whether he would make it or not... So it was, in the middle of the store, I began crying (to be more correct, I had a panic attack). Jeff hugged me and led me blindly back to the car and drove me home. My mom called me back to say that grandpa had woken up and she held the phone for him so he could say "hello"... but that's all he could muster.
     The next morning, I got the call that he had passed away... I knew before I even picked up the phone... and somehow, I feel like I knew this was coming even before that... Last time I went home, with Jeff in tow, we were going to look at wedding rings at my Uncles' store in St. Helena, and I wanted to stop in and see Grandpa on the way back, but we decided that we didn't have time (we had to be home for a cake tasting that afternoon). As we passed, I felt as though this was my last chance.. I even turned to Jeff and said that I had a feeling that I would regret this...
     And I do. So much. And despite everyone in my family telling me that I shouldn't feel that way, and that there was no way for me to know this would happen.. I can't help but wish that I would have stopped... such a simple thing.. to stop and say hello...  such a simple thing that I neglected to do..
     I thought that I had moved passed it and things were back to normal.. but then this past Saturday happened. We met up at a friend's place for a wine and board game night, and everything was fine and we were having fun.... and then, all of a sudden, after having one  glass too many, I started sobbing uncontrollably. I want to take a minute to apologize to said friend, and to thank you for being so patient with me.
    Anyways... I'm writing this, I guess, because I'm hoping that perhaps getting it all out will help. Not quite sure if it has, but I feel like I needed to let it out... Keeping it in was too hard, and talking about it out loud was even harder.. My Grandpa was a great guy. He could be grouchy and stubborn (like me), but he was so talented, and he always had a story to tell... for anyone who would listen. I wish Jeff could have gotten to know him a bit more.. he seemed to love his stories, and my Grandpa really loved telling them. I feel like we were similar in a lot of ways.. and I'd like to think that we had a special connection, being the artists of the family..
   ... I love you Grandpa! And I miss you..

10 more years!

J - I love you so much! These past 10 years have been filled with their share of ups and downs, highs and lows, good times and bad, but sharing them with you has made it all worthwhile. And I know that as long as I have you in my life, I will always have a reason to smile. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you! (sent to J yesterday on our actual anniversary)

more wedding flowers - because I am now addicted to flower arranging :)

     I'm at it again! So, I know you are all probably getting tired of my numerous posts about my flower arranging adventures (I know J is! haha!), but I can't help it! And am also slightly worried that the day will sneak up on me and I'll be overwhelmed by options.. so I am determined to figure out what I want! Knowing what I want means that I can potentially order ahead and eliminate a lot of stress that would come with having to figure it all out on the spot.

     Anyways, as you know, I really really loved the white/green/yellow bouquets I created in the last post... and as some of you may have heard, I discovered the next day that I was highly allergic to one of the plants, the snow-on-the-mountain, which is gorgeous. I'm slightly devastated that I can't use it, not only because it was delicate-looking and beautiful, but also because it is very cheap and goes a long way in terms of filling out the bouquets. At first, I kept thinking that I could just wear gloves while handling it, but I would still be nervous... no one wants to be covered in an itchy rash, especially not on their wedding day. So, I have been on the hunt once again for different flowers that would work for our new-ish vision (whites, greens, and yellows).

     So, I went, once again, to Whole Foods, because they are one of the best/only grocery stores that carry lots of filler. I was SO excited by what I found! Firstly, I bought some yellow solidago (tall bursts of tiny yellow flowers), which I have used successfully before. I also found a beautiful bunch of chamomile (yes, like the kind they use to make tea), which I have always loved - they're so fun! I also bought a small bunch (not enough) of matsumoto aster (the puff-ball flowers with green centers and a ring of green leaves around the blooms). To tie these all together, I bought a bunch of beautiful roses (labeled "white dove") which were a soft white in the center, with a slight green tint on the outer petals.

     I have to say... I think this bouquet might be my favorite. Maybe I'm crazy, but it looks like summer to me. It is soft and romantic, but the chamomile adds a bit of fun and whimsy - which is what I want! The only thing I would love to perhaps tweak, would be to use white garden roses instead... and perhaps something more green in place of the solidago. I would love feedback/opinions on these!

    I also created a small sample of what i've been thinking of using for aisle decor : clusters of chamomile and solidago, bunched into small mason jars, and then hung to the chairs with bright teal ribbon. I am definitely satisfied with these - and they would be super fast to throw together!

...aaaaaand.... I couldn't resist a few ring shots :D

 
     J tells me that he really likes this one! ... but I can't tell if he means it, or if he just wants me to stop bringing home flowers all the time ;) Either way, I do believe him when he says he trusts me to do a good job with the flowers, so that's something!

More wedding flower practice - I think I may have found something I like :)

     J was out of town this weekend (in San Diego for his fantasy football draft), so I figured it would be the perfect time to play with more flowers! In other words, a perfect time to play with smelly things that would otherwise kill J's nostrils. I ended up going to several stores in search of flowers, and finally found inspiration at Ralph's in the form of blue thistles. For those of you who don't know, blue is mine and J's favorite color, and so naturally we had planned to use it as a color for our wedding. Unfortunately, there aren't too many blue flowers out there that I actually like (hydrangeas are okay but too pastel-y for my liking, cornflowers are nice but a bit harder to find, and then there are those horrible dyed flowers that look fake). So I'd been set on having flowers of a different color to be wrapped in blue ribbon instead. But then I found the thistles (which I have always found interesting and cool) and decided to give them a try.
     I bought most of my other flowers at Whole Foods (white stock, white roses, an amazing filler called "snow on the mountain"(SOM), purple lisianthus, and a mixed bunch that came with white mums, yellow roses, and pink gerber daisies). I chose these based on color (J seems to like the classic white and green look), and availability - because, as I've said before, there's no point in getting obsessed with a flower that isn't in bloom when you need it! White roses are almost always easy to find, and I noted a LOT of thistles (of all shapes, sizes, and colors!), as well as the snow-on-the-mountain at the flower mart in July. Stock seems also quite easy to find, and mums have been hugely available throughout all my flower tests, so I feel quite confident that I can recreate this for my big day.
     For my first bouquet, I used only the white mums, roses, stock, SOM, and thistles. I really loved the look of this, but was still craving just a bit more color.

     For my next bouquet, I used the same flowers, but added the purple lisianthus into the mix. I really like this combination too, but didn't love it as much as I had expected (since I love lisianthus!).

     For my last tall bouquet, I removed the lisianthus and replaced them with the yellow roses. I really reeeeally love this one! The soft green and white really help to make the yellow pop, and the pops of yellow also seem to make the blue of the thistle stand out a bit more, which I like.

     Lastly, I created a small centerpiece using the same mix of flowers, but without the stock (since I didn't have terribly much of it in the first place), and instead adding more of the SOM. I placed the greenery first (SOM and thistles), so that they would be spread out within my arrangement. I then began placing white roses and mums to fill the spaces between. Lastly, I added clusters of yellow spray roses to complete the look!

     Love! And so easy to do! The tall bouquet took a while to put together (maybe 45 minutes), while the smaller centerpiece took under half an hour to assemble (so, hopefully, with 3 or 4 helpers, this will be easy to replicate for all bouquets and centerpieces. :)

     I asked J when he got home today, and he seems to agree with liking the yellow better, but that doesn't mean that we have to do all the bouquets the same either. I could see potentially making complementary bouquets with all yellow roses, or all white, etc. What do you think?

Flower Arranging - a "how-to" of sorts

     So, a few days ago, I decided that I wanted to check out the wholesale flower market in Glendale. I was a little bit disappointed with the small selection. They had roses, spray roses, mums, stock, lisianthus, minimal greenery, and a few others - not a large selection. The prices weren't terrible though, and I ended up with a huge bunch of mums and some stock for $13. My next stop was to buy some greenery at Whole Foods (one of the very few places that carries greenery on it's own). I purchased some yellow solidago and bupeurum, both of which are a vibrant green with a hint of yellow, and a bunch of clover. The roses were the hardest to find, since no one seemed to have the color I was looking for. I finally found a bunch that I liked at Ralphs, and then made my way home to begin! In total, I spent less than $45 for a LOT of flowers!

this is what $45 of flowers looks like

Bupleurum

purple clover

purple stock

white mums 

solidago

orange roses

     The first thing I did, was to put all of the flowers in water. I separated each type of flower into it's own container, to make it easier for me to pick them out later. The next step, was probably the most time-consuming, and involved removing all of the leaves along the stalks of my flowers. Fortunately for me, the type of roses I selected already had their thorns removed, making my job much simpler - you can simply hold the stem just below the flower, then use your other hand to grip the stem and slide your fingers down the stalk, effectively stripping the leaves (some leaves are trickier than others though). Depending on how you use the Stock, you may choose to remove some of the flowers at the base, leaving just a small cluster of blooms at the top. I also left a lot of the greenery in tact - otherwise too much of the flower is lost. Also, as a side note, I've discovered that the clover leaves tend to dry out rather quickly - so I usually just remove them. The flowers themselves dry out quite nicely and maintain their color and shape - the stems themselves can be quite flimsy, so I used some floral/green wire to wrap the stems and make them a bit sturdier. 

     Next, it's on to the actual arranging. Now, obviously, all of the stems are going to be different lengths, so you just have to hold the flowers in hand as you work. I started with one of the larger blooms - in this case, an orange rose. I then began placing several mums in a large cluster around the side of the rose, creating a white sort of barrier to break up the space between the orange and purple. This is also where the greenery comes in handy! I decided that I wanted a fresh garden look - meaning that I wanted it to give it that appearance of being like a fresh-picked bunch of wildflowers, while still maintaining a clean and intentional look.

     Once I had the center of the bouquet going, I started rotating the bunch in my hand, adding large blooms surrounded by greenery/filler and mums. Since I had an abundance of mums to work with, it made sense to create a bouquet that would incorporate a lot of white, with small punches of color. In all, I used somewhere around 20 mums, 3 roses, 2 stock, and about a quarter of my greenery.

Almost done!

The final product - from all sides

   
     As soon as I was satisfied with my bouquet, I wrapped the stems with wire to hold it's shape, cut the stems down to length, and placed it in a vase with fresh water. Having used only about a third of my flowers, I decided to try my hand at making a small centerpiece. Using the same flowers and a similar flower ratio (1 rose, 1 stock, 10 mums, greenery), I made a small bouquet, cut the stems to length, and placed them loosely in a small vase (the vase is actually a cut wine glass - another craft project I've been dabbling with lately).

small bouquet / centerpiece

     After completing my arrangements, I sat back and took a long look. For the most part, I was pretty happy with how they turned out, but I wasn't 100% sure if I liked the mix of purple and pale orange. Am I crazy for using that color combination? Anyways, after taking photos and showing J, I decided to take my bouquet apart and create something different. J seemed to prefer the purple and yellow (not so much the orange), so I decided to create a bouquet with only purple accents. I used the same technique as before, but found that criss-crossing the flowers as I worked, helped create a fuller base to the bouquet. The flowers included are the clover, stock, mums, and solidago (the bits that were not in full bloom and thus less yellow).

Purple and Green

     Now that I had an abundance of orange roses, and I still had over half my supply of mums, I decided to create a third large bouquet. I used the white mums, orange roses, bupleurum (which have a slightly yellow tint to them) to create this! While I really like this bouquet, I really wish I had a bit more color to blend the orange and white. Perhaps if I'd used a bit of the solidago, of better yet, another large yellow or pink bloom. Ah well, next time! 

Orange and Green

    I also ended up making a smaller centerpiece in a small china bowl purchased at goodwill, as well as a loose bouquet of solidago and white mums, and a tiny jar arrangement - i'm thinking of potentially making small jar arrangements to hang over the chairs for the ceremony.

All Bouquets - so you can actually see the sizes!

ring shots!

     So, after all of these trial, I'm still convinced that I CAN do my own flowers. But everyone keeps telling me that I'm crazy for even thinking of doing it. I know it would be a lot of hard work, and that it would take up a lot of my time, but it would save soooo much money! One of my friends told me that when she went to a florist for a bridal bouquet, she was given an estimate of around $300. JUST for the bridal bouquet! And here, I have made two very pretty (in my opinion) bouquets for less than $50. I just don't know if I can justify spending more than $1,000 on my wedding flowers. As much as I love flowers and want as many as I can have for my wedding, it doesn't change the fact that they will die. They are meant to look gorgeous for the wedding day, but then they will die and be gone. They don't last, and I just don't think I can justify spending that much money on something that won't last more than a few days. Especially after I've already broken that rule for my dress!

     Any thoughts, advice, words of wisdom/encouragement? What do YOU think? Am I crazy?

Venice Beach Visit

     A super good friend of mine was in town this past weekend (all the way from NY!) so, of course I had to see her! She had made plans with a few other friends in the area to go to Venice Beach for the day, and as soon as J got home from work (yes, he had to work on a Sunday -boo!), we drove to the beach to join them.

     J and I have actually not been to Venice Beach before. We've been to Santa Monica a few times and Malibu a bunch, and even to Huntington Beach and as far south as Seal Beach, but nowhere really in-between. So, it was a totally new experience for us. Finding parking proved difficult, but we were able to find a spot just a few blocks away from our designated meeting spot.      When we arrived, we discovered that the plan was to find this cool rooftop bar that had been recommended by someone (wasn't entirely clear on that point). So we walked down to the beach to avoid the crowds, and made our way the few blocks down to the bar - I believe it was on top of the Hotel Erwin? We were lucky enough to find a table to stand at (it was fairly busy, and all of the seating areas seemed to have been reserved), and we each grabbed a drink - I got a Blackberry Collins, complete with fresh blackberries, which was delicious! 

     Eventually, we decided that we were hungry, and that bar food wasn't going to cut it, so we began to wander back down the walk. The biggest observation I could make about Venice, is that it is colorful - in both senses of the word. The thousands of pairs of multi-colored sunglasses, the vendors selling all manner of trinkets and art, and the giant murals filling in the empty spaces. The people are equally colorful, some dressed in typical beach wear, and others wearing rainbow wigs or dressed as trees on stilts. After a while of weaving between the crowds and 'tattoo' signs, we ended up at the Venice Ale House. The place was packed, so we put our name in for a table and headed to the ocean!

     Now, I am of the opinion that when you go to a beach, you have to at least get your feet wet. It always makes me sad to be walking along the ocean and never get the chance to sink my toes in the sand. And, lucky for me, the rest of our group seemed to share this sentiment. So, we kicked of our sandals and waded into the surf - some of us further than others, which resulted in some of us getting a bit soggy.

      After a long wait, it was finally time to grab some grub at the Ale House! Epic amounts of beer were had, samplers served on stationary skateboards (alliteration!), and I had my usual cider. For dinner, I had a turkey burger with roasted russet potatoes, which was quite tasty albeit not terribly healthy (according to my friend, I should have tried their sweet potato "un fries" - next time, perhaps)... but I wasn't terribly concerned about food. It was the company I came for, and I wasn't disappointed. Despite the cold, we stayed long past completing our meal, talking about a little bit of everything. I'm a teensy bit sad I didn't get to talk to my friend Hannah for longer, since I rarely get to see her, but it was definitely nice getting to spend a day out with friends! We even made a new friend who lives right around the corner (almost) and seems to enjoy beer almost as much as J does. Do I sense future brewery visits and epic game nights in the future? Sounds like fun to me!

Flower Power!

     I want to take a second to talk about one of my new favorite obsessions: flowers!
Now, I have always loved flowers, this isn't a new thing in the slightest. It is, however, been a somewhat singular focus lately. With all of the wedding planning in full swing, I've been trying to come up with ways to save a bit of money by doing certain things myself. For example, I fully intend to design my own save-the-dates and invitations, as well as any other fun DIY decor ideas I can come up with. The one other thing I've been seriously considering doing myself is the bouquets and centerpieces.

     See, I've made flower arrangements before, for birthdays and holidays, but they were always just for fun, and I only ever had to make a handful at a time. So, of course the concept of now putting together 5 (potentially) bouquets, 15+ centerpieces, and any additional flowers for ceremony or otherwise, seems a huge undertaking. But here's the thing. I LOVE doing it! For some reason, when set down with huge vases full of flowers, I just go to a whole different place in my head. Let's call it my "zen place". In this "zen" mindset, making arrangements isn't a chore, it's a very enjoyable craft! That alone makes the idea of doing it myself very appealing, but that's the thing, I wouldn't be doing it myself. I know I have a few friends I could count on to help! Even more appealing! Also, the best part is that it means I can pick out whatever flowers I want. Though, that also makes it challenging, since it means having to choose flowers at the spur of the moment. Also, since I am not a florist, I would be restricted to whatever is available that day - though, I'm not TOO picky (I don't have my heart set on coral dahlias like my sister is, for example), so long as I can find the colors I want in the numbers I would need. And then I started thinking, how much would I need? and how much would it all cost? I knew for sure, from the number of people who have come before me in the DIY department, that it would be cheaper than going to a florist, but I still needed to know how much I should expect to spend.
     So, in the interest of asking all of my questions (and to see if I truly had it in me), I decided to try and put together my own bouquets. My sister and I drove up to the San Francisco Flower Mart (so we could check out the huge selection and wholesale prices), and began the search for beautiful flora! We ended up spending about 2 hours just walking around and checking out all of the different growers and the sheer variety of flowers. I made sure to only choose flowers that were plentiful and easy to find and in colors that were also easy to find. After all, I can't base my whole wedding around a single bunch of roses if there isn't more than just that single bunch!
    I picked out flowers that fit my vision and style, and my sister did the same. I left the mart with 1 bunch of magenta garden roses, 1 bunch of orange spray roses, purple clover, and small white flowers that I'm sad to say I don't know the name of, all for $35. My sister purchased coral colored dahlias (which were hard to find in the exact color she wanted, and even then they ended up being too orange for her liking),  pale pink carnations, and white stock, all for about $18.

     As soon as we arrived at home, I was eager and excited to put our bouquets together. I started with my sister's flowers, putting each bunch in it's own vase while I worked. Starting with a single dahlia, I pulled flower after flower from each vase, until my hand was full and I had a large, tightly packed bunch of flowers, which I quickly wrapped together using a twist tie (not very elegant, I know, but they worked in a pinch). Bridal bouquet complete, I quickly created a similar yet smaller bridesmaid's bouquet to match!

     Next, it was time to do my own. Using the same method (perhaps I'll do this again sometime and take pictures of the progress as I work, a how-to-ish sort of post!), I created my own lush bouquet. I also created a smaller bridesmaid's bouquet with the leftovers, and even made an impromptu boutonniere using a single orange rose and a sprig of clover.

     So, my parents still aren't convinced that doing the wedding flowers myself is a good idea, but I'm still somewhat in love with the idea. PLUS, it would cost a whole heck of a lot of money! Based on my trip to the flower mart, I estimated that it would cost somewhere around $600 for the flowers. Obviously, getting my flowers from a florist would cost a LOT more money... and I have a budget to stick to! Besides, why would I want to spend thousands of dollars on flowers that are going to die the next day? Also, why would I pay someone to do something so fun that I could potentially do myself?! I think I did a pretty decent job at my first bouquet-making attempt, and I have a whole year to get it down to a science. Also, there are numerous ways I could cut my flower costs if I vary the size of the centerpiece flowers, etc. So many possibilities!

... So, I found out that my area has a wholesale flower mart. I think tomorrow may be a great day for a field trip!

If anyone has any suggestions, critiques, tips, or advice on such things, feel free to leave me a comment.